Duffer was around today
He breaks the news that one, he, himself and the hamsters deid but the wheels still going around burd would like to open a burger van and have a baby. In no particular order.
I tear a strip off him, reality check time, what the fuck is he thinking about.
I tell him exactly what I think, I dont hold back. Its a bit rich considering our event was unplanned, but hey ho there we go.
He doesnt huff, we discuss, we negotiate, we debate, we are back to normal
I think that he is making a big mistake.
Saturday 31 May 2008
The bucket list
I cried today
Cried uncontrollably
Cried like a child
I think i just need to let it out
I was up before everybody else and I had a pirate copy of the bucket list with morgan freeman and jack nicholson
I had been putting off watching up as the guy that had leant me it said that it had sweedish subtitles. I cracked this morning and finally gave into the sleep deprovation and got up before everybody else.
The house was silent and apart from the crunch of the wooden floor and the sound of the whooshing kettle it was just me and the dog and the telly.
I dont usually watch pirate movies, not that I am particularly against them, but usually because they are such bad quality.
Luckily, i was able to switch the subtitles off and to my surprise it was of perfect viewablitilty.
I would recommend to anyone that they should watch it, it was truly excellent. Its about two guys that become friends after they discover they both have cancer and decide to live a little in their remaining months. They make a bucket list and jump out of a plane, race a mustang, see the world. It was realy really good.
I dont know why I cried, I suppose it reminded me that life is indeed too short, maybe it reminded me of the sadness I would feel when my own dad expires. Maybe I just needed to let out some emotion. I dont know. Maybe it just makes me a sensitive dad.
Connie was up by this time and consoles me.
I start a bucket list.
Cried uncontrollably
Cried like a child
I think i just need to let it out
I was up before everybody else and I had a pirate copy of the bucket list with morgan freeman and jack nicholson
I had been putting off watching up as the guy that had leant me it said that it had sweedish subtitles. I cracked this morning and finally gave into the sleep deprovation and got up before everybody else.
The house was silent and apart from the crunch of the wooden floor and the sound of the whooshing kettle it was just me and the dog and the telly.
I dont usually watch pirate movies, not that I am particularly against them, but usually because they are such bad quality.
Luckily, i was able to switch the subtitles off and to my surprise it was of perfect viewablitilty.
I would recommend to anyone that they should watch it, it was truly excellent. Its about two guys that become friends after they discover they both have cancer and decide to live a little in their remaining months. They make a bucket list and jump out of a plane, race a mustang, see the world. It was realy really good.
I dont know why I cried, I suppose it reminded me that life is indeed too short, maybe it reminded me of the sadness I would feel when my own dad expires. Maybe I just needed to let out some emotion. I dont know. Maybe it just makes me a sensitive dad.
Connie was up by this time and consoles me.
I start a bucket list.
Having to work Saturdays
Its a stunning day today and I should be taking a break from working.
Its saturday, the sun is shing, the birds are singing, the trees are not swaying in any breeze and their is not a cloud in the sky.
Therefore, why am I not happy.
Im not happing because I am skint and cant afford to take the kids out anywhere, on top of that Connie is working which completely ruins any chance of a family day out.
Why on earth would any team leader in their right minds roster a person in for a Saturday for 2 hours.
I can understand the need for someone having to work a saturday, but for only two hours seems like a complete and utter waste or time, effort, resources and quite honestly it bugs my happiness.
I wouldnt mind so much if it was first thing in the morning, but by scheduling her in from 4 to 6 really fucks up my day. I simply dont see the point.
I have asked her countless times to go and see her work and get a day off at the weekend and she claims that she has done this but nobody is listening to her.
I want to scream at her that she isnt saying the right words and why not do those two hours together with the two stupid hours she is supposed to do tomorrow, rather than completely ruin my weekend.
We cant just have a nice saturday out somewhere with the kids all because some window licker needs tablets admistered to them between the hours of 4 to 6. I have nothing against her clients, in fact all of them are actually quite nice, but they have families and what are their families doing on a Saturday, yip family stuff. They are going out and enjoying themselves safe in teh knowledge that some other muppet has to work with them so they can go off and do what families do at the weekends.
This makes me altogether mad.
Connie asks me on the way out the house if we are all not talking to her because she has to go to work, I lie convincingly well and tell her not to bother.
The kids go into the loft, where i have hung a punch bag, my middle daughter belts ten bells out of it and holly skips.
Its saturday, the sun is shing, the birds are singing, the trees are not swaying in any breeze and their is not a cloud in the sky.
Therefore, why am I not happy.
Im not happing because I am skint and cant afford to take the kids out anywhere, on top of that Connie is working which completely ruins any chance of a family day out.
Why on earth would any team leader in their right minds roster a person in for a Saturday for 2 hours.
I can understand the need for someone having to work a saturday, but for only two hours seems like a complete and utter waste or time, effort, resources and quite honestly it bugs my happiness.
I wouldnt mind so much if it was first thing in the morning, but by scheduling her in from 4 to 6 really fucks up my day. I simply dont see the point.
I have asked her countless times to go and see her work and get a day off at the weekend and she claims that she has done this but nobody is listening to her.
I want to scream at her that she isnt saying the right words and why not do those two hours together with the two stupid hours she is supposed to do tomorrow, rather than completely ruin my weekend.
We cant just have a nice saturday out somewhere with the kids all because some window licker needs tablets admistered to them between the hours of 4 to 6. I have nothing against her clients, in fact all of them are actually quite nice, but they have families and what are their families doing on a Saturday, yip family stuff. They are going out and enjoying themselves safe in teh knowledge that some other muppet has to work with them so they can go off and do what families do at the weekends.
This makes me altogether mad.
Connie asks me on the way out the house if we are all not talking to her because she has to go to work, I lie convincingly well and tell her not to bother.
The kids go into the loft, where i have hung a punch bag, my middle daughter belts ten bells out of it and holly skips.
A childs logic
Its a funny thing, childs logic
Its a lot like the choo choo train things.
Holly had an ice pole today, a bright sickly pink one. We had a conversation.
Daddy: Its pink Holly
Holly: No daddy, its purple.
Daddy: Its PINK
Holly: No daddy, its purple.
Daddy: Its PINK
Holly: No daddy, its purple.
Daddy: HOLYLY ITS PINK
Holly: Well, it tastes purple.
Daddy: It cant taste purple, its pink
Holly: It tastes purple like medicine, I like the purple medicine.
You just cant make that up.
Holly: Taste it Dad,
Yip, it did indeed taste like purple calpol.
A childs wonderfull logic
Its a lot like the choo choo train things.
Holly had an ice pole today, a bright sickly pink one. We had a conversation.
Daddy: Its pink Holly
Holly: No daddy, its purple.
Daddy: Its PINK
Holly: No daddy, its purple.
Daddy: Its PINK
Holly: No daddy, its purple.
Daddy: HOLYLY ITS PINK
Holly: Well, it tastes purple.
Daddy: It cant taste purple, its pink
Holly: It tastes purple like medicine, I like the purple medicine.
You just cant make that up.
Holly: Taste it Dad,
Yip, it did indeed taste like purple calpol.
A childs wonderfull logic
Sleep Deprovation
I have been living with the support pillows for quite some time ago.
Connie doesnt seem to be sleeping well at all, all the time it seems like she is tossing and turning, getting up to pee, coming back to bed, snoring like a barnyard animal, grunting, kicking off the covers, stealing the covers, pitching back and forward.
Aparently, I have taken to talking to her in my sleep, although I have no recollection about this in the morning.
This can range anything from genuine concern as to whether there is something wrong with her, or telling her to belt up using one syllable words in an angry and agreesive will you shut the fuck up sort of way.
I have to take her word for this, but I know that every morning I have to drag myself from teh depths of slumber and Im feeling altogether muddled. Thus, I know that i cannot therefore by sleeping a sound and rewarding sleep for it has been disturbed and frenzied throughout.
Sleep deprovation is a terrible thing.
Connie doesnt seem to be sleeping well at all, all the time it seems like she is tossing and turning, getting up to pee, coming back to bed, snoring like a barnyard animal, grunting, kicking off the covers, stealing the covers, pitching back and forward.
Aparently, I have taken to talking to her in my sleep, although I have no recollection about this in the morning.
This can range anything from genuine concern as to whether there is something wrong with her, or telling her to belt up using one syllable words in an angry and agreesive will you shut the fuck up sort of way.
I have to take her word for this, but I know that every morning I have to drag myself from teh depths of slumber and Im feeling altogether muddled. Thus, I know that i cannot therefore by sleeping a sound and rewarding sleep for it has been disturbed and frenzied throughout.
Sleep deprovation is a terrible thing.
Week 26 Update
Mother:
While you have been feeling movements for awhile, those other people in your life may not have been able to. Around this time it may become possible for them to begin feeling the baby from the outside. It is a really neat to share the experience with others.
Finding a comfortable position for sleeping is a new task! Between night time wakings to go to the bathroom, to get water or snacks, you need all the sleep you can get.
A body pillow will enable you to support your legs and your growing belly! If you don't have one, try making use of several regular pillows.
Baby:
Veins are visible through your baby's skin, although it is quickly changing from transparent to opaque.
Your baby can hear you and those around you. Although we assume that the uterus is a quiet place, the baby has been surrounded by noise for a long time. Things like your heartbeat, digestion, and other body functions are heard by the baby as well as external noises. Now you may feel the baby jump at a sudden noise.
The uterus also allows some light to be seen. So your baby is aware of lightness and darkness. S/he weighs 1 pound 12 ounces (794 grams) and measures 32.5 cms or 12.8 inches total length.
Dad:
If you're sleeping with a bunch of extra pillows in bed, you may notice that the amount of room available for you has decreased. Some dads choose to sleep elsewhere to avoid disturbances to their sleep, including the many trips to the bathroom she makes each night. This should be discussed together.
While you have been feeling movements for awhile, those other people in your life may not have been able to. Around this time it may become possible for them to begin feeling the baby from the outside. It is a really neat to share the experience with others.
Finding a comfortable position for sleeping is a new task! Between night time wakings to go to the bathroom, to get water or snacks, you need all the sleep you can get.
A body pillow will enable you to support your legs and your growing belly! If you don't have one, try making use of several regular pillows.
Baby:
Veins are visible through your baby's skin, although it is quickly changing from transparent to opaque.
Your baby can hear you and those around you. Although we assume that the uterus is a quiet place, the baby has been surrounded by noise for a long time. Things like your heartbeat, digestion, and other body functions are heard by the baby as well as external noises. Now you may feel the baby jump at a sudden noise.
The uterus also allows some light to be seen. So your baby is aware of lightness and darkness. S/he weighs 1 pound 12 ounces (794 grams) and measures 32.5 cms or 12.8 inches total length.
Dad:
If you're sleeping with a bunch of extra pillows in bed, you may notice that the amount of room available for you has decreased. Some dads choose to sleep elsewhere to avoid disturbances to their sleep, including the many trips to the bathroom she makes each night. This should be discussed together.
Sunday 25 May 2008
The innocence of children
If theres something I love about being a dad, is the innocence of children, the fact that they believe in monsters, have no problem in speaking the truth or simply that these use words that sound like sounds.
We were at a lovely country park today, and their was a model gauge railway there. My youngest daughter (apart from womb baby?) shouts look daddy theres a choo choo train.
How cool does that sound, a choo choo train, such a descriptive child like word of innocence. But, what else would you call it, big white puffs of steam belching from its every funnel and crevice, peeping its steam whistle as its coal chugged it around the narrow gauge track.
Its such as magical thing being a dad, how else could you experience being on a choo choo train, but singing wheels on the bus. Arms wrapped around your little precious cargo parcel in case they fall off.
How else could a grow man get away with sitting on a model engineered steam train shouting all aboard, tickets please, hold tight, woo wooo.
Friday 23 May 2008
Baby Wakes her up
Connie tells me this morning that baby has woken her up two mornings in a row, kicking lumps out of her.
I tell her that it wasnt baby prodding her with something blunt.....hehehhhehehhe
I tell her that it wasnt baby prodding her with something blunt.....hehehhhehehhe
Week 25 Update
Mother:
At this point in pregnancy you probably still feel really good! Soon you will begin to see your practitioner more often. When this happens, many women begin to get the feeling that they are "running out of time."
Fixing the baby's room or deciding where to let the baby sleep is one of the things you need to work out your feelings about now. Although, let me tell you from experience that you should reserve the right to change your mind once the baby gets here!
Baby:
Baby weighs 1 pound 9 ounces (709 grams). The bones are continuing their ossification process, meaning that they are becoming harder.
Dad:
Are you being heard? If you have opinions about things that relate to baby - speak up! Sometimes mom has a tendency to just give her opinion. Maybe she's asked and you've clammed up? Don't bother, just share what your opinion is on raising baby.
At this point in pregnancy you probably still feel really good! Soon you will begin to see your practitioner more often. When this happens, many women begin to get the feeling that they are "running out of time."
Fixing the baby's room or deciding where to let the baby sleep is one of the things you need to work out your feelings about now. Although, let me tell you from experience that you should reserve the right to change your mind once the baby gets here!
Baby:
Baby weighs 1 pound 9 ounces (709 grams). The bones are continuing their ossification process, meaning that they are becoming harder.
Dad:
Are you being heard? If you have opinions about things that relate to baby - speak up! Sometimes mom has a tendency to just give her opinion. Maybe she's asked and you've clammed up? Don't bother, just share what your opinion is on raising baby.
Necklace
Im still feeling guilty today and I buy Connie a necklace.
Duffer comes around with his little girl and while they are having dinner and playing we nip out and walk the dog. I tell him all about the L row, he makes the point of why is Connie reading my messages, a point remaining unanswered.
He tells me that their was scratchings in his loft last night and after much persuasion from his burd JA, he finally agrees to stick his head throught the loft. JA has convinced herself their is a rat manifestation up there. Duffer and I kill ourself laughing at this, what rats are magically appearing...... We decide on a wind up.
Being a good dad requires a sense of humour or youll just die at the first hurdle and I have been putting into practice for as long as possible.
We phone JA up while walking the dog and try hard to keep a straight face... Outer Hebridean accent.....
"Hello, is that Ms Black ?, "
"Yes"
"Hello Ms Black, this is Mr Mchperson from the Outer Hebridean to Lothians, Environmental Health and Safety, Rat Manifestation Department"
"Shut up, I know its you A"
"I dont know what you mean Ms Black, Im calling about your rat manifestation problem"
"Never mind about the rats, I have to go im cooking my dinner"
"What do mean Ms Black, you have to go before the rats start eating your dinner, did you say"
"Tell me Ms Black, when would be suitable to come around and kill the little buggers, and how would you like me to be killing them, I have a big gun I could bring"
Its goes on for about 10 minutes, we ask her if the rats are the size or dogs, and whether they have been nesting in her knicker drawer and whether they are manifesting themselves regularly.
JA, knows all along its us, but we dont crack and keep up with the accent. Duffer and I laugh the rest of the way home like schoolboys.
Its not as good as the time we convinced Joe he had bird flu though, now that was classic.
Duffer comes around with his little girl and while they are having dinner and playing we nip out and walk the dog. I tell him all about the L row, he makes the point of why is Connie reading my messages, a point remaining unanswered.
He tells me that their was scratchings in his loft last night and after much persuasion from his burd JA, he finally agrees to stick his head throught the loft. JA has convinced herself their is a rat manifestation up there. Duffer and I kill ourself laughing at this, what rats are magically appearing...... We decide on a wind up.
Being a good dad requires a sense of humour or youll just die at the first hurdle and I have been putting into practice for as long as possible.
We phone JA up while walking the dog and try hard to keep a straight face... Outer Hebridean accent.....
"Hello, is that Ms Black ?, "
"Yes"
"Hello Ms Black, this is Mr Mchperson from the Outer Hebridean to Lothians, Environmental Health and Safety, Rat Manifestation Department"
"Shut up, I know its you A"
"I dont know what you mean Ms Black, Im calling about your rat manifestation problem"
"Never mind about the rats, I have to go im cooking my dinner"
"What do mean Ms Black, you have to go before the rats start eating your dinner, did you say"
"Tell me Ms Black, when would be suitable to come around and kill the little buggers, and how would you like me to be killing them, I have a big gun I could bring"
Its goes on for about 10 minutes, we ask her if the rats are the size or dogs, and whether they have been nesting in her knicker drawer and whether they are manifesting themselves regularly.
JA, knows all along its us, but we dont crack and keep up with the accent. Duffer and I laugh the rest of the way home like schoolboys.
Its not as good as the time we convinced Joe he had bird flu though, now that was classic.
Being a dad is always a gamble
I was emailing a friend of mine today at work KG, I told him that being a dad was always a big gamble, I try to explain that its about doing the right thing and the right time and you dont always make it.
He says that he never gambles, especially not with money. I write back to him with some ramblings.
Every day is a perpetual gamble KG, like crossing the road, or wondering if your wife going to do a john wayne bobbet while you sleep. It’s a lot like wondering whether your going to put a bosch titanium drill throught your thumb the next time your doing DIY.
Speculation is Acculumation and times ticks quicker than we anticipate, that’s why I always drive like the golf gti is stolen. I like the life on the edge, so everybody bets.
But theres nothing that makes you want to win a bit more, when you’ve gambled your bread and milk money.
Being a dad is a lot like that I think. Its a tightrope spud, its a tightrope.
He says that he never gambles, especially not with money. I write back to him with some ramblings.
Every day is a perpetual gamble KG, like crossing the road, or wondering if your wife going to do a john wayne bobbet while you sleep. It’s a lot like wondering whether your going to put a bosch titanium drill throught your thumb the next time your doing DIY.
Speculation is Acculumation and times ticks quicker than we anticipate, that’s why I always drive like the golf gti is stolen. I like the life on the edge, so everybody bets.
But theres nothing that makes you want to win a bit more, when you’ve gambled your bread and milk money.
Being a dad is a lot like that I think. Its a tightrope spud, its a tightrope.
We kiss and make up
We havent spoken all day and the silence is killing me.
Cant help thinking about my bump but I dont want to crack and call her first.
L, asks me why my face is tripping me and I tell her about the row, except I change the details so its some other random txt to some other randon burd. She takes connies side, I feel worse.
I get in from work and we have it out, everythings good. We kiss and make up. Happy again.
I feel baby kick today, which is re-assuring.
Cant help thinking about my bump but I dont want to crack and call her first.
L, asks me why my face is tripping me and I tell her about the row, except I change the details so its some other random txt to some other randon burd. She takes connies side, I feel worse.
I get in from work and we have it out, everythings good. We kiss and make up. Happy again.
I feel baby kick today, which is re-assuring.
Wednesday 21 May 2008
Feeling insecure - the big row main event
Last night, I get in from work and connie is all sweetness and light.
There is clearly something bothering her and I put my arms around her and give her a cuddle. I make her tell me what the matter is and she tells me that she is feeling insecure. I probe a little and she tells me that she has read my txt messages on my phone.
Apparently, she says that I had leant my phone to Abbie the other night as I had lots of free minutes and she took the opportunities to read my messages.
She must have read a fair few, very specifically to my mate L, who is also up the duff.
Now to set the seen, L, West and Duffer were the few people that were there for me when Connie and I split at Christmas time.
L is my mate, but thats as far as it goes, we get on great, but she would be far too high maintenance as a burd and not my type. I suppose that she isnt unnatractive, in fact she is probably quite pretty, but she just isnt my type. She is however a really good mate, funny, smart and intelligent. I hold her in high regard and we tell each other loads of stuff. Its good having bloke mates like west and duffer but sometimes you cant quite show your sensitive side to a bloke mate.
So Connie sees these messages and goes off on one, why are you txting her, I dont think you should be calling her this name or that name, is there something going on, do you like her, do you want to be with her and not me, blah blah blah blah blah.
I am calm to start with and tell her nothings going on and that L is my mate, she keeps going on. I loose the plot a little.
Who is she to question me over some innocent txts. I storm out and dont come back until she is in bed. When I do, Im not sure if she is sleeping or just lying in the dark and I dont make eye contact to find out. I switch on my bedside lamp and read my book, she doesnt turn over or makes any move to apologise. I sleep with a clear conscious
I think that Im owed an apology and I think that I might hold out from speaking until I get one.
There is clearly something bothering her and I put my arms around her and give her a cuddle. I make her tell me what the matter is and she tells me that she is feeling insecure. I probe a little and she tells me that she has read my txt messages on my phone.
Apparently, she says that I had leant my phone to Abbie the other night as I had lots of free minutes and she took the opportunities to read my messages.
She must have read a fair few, very specifically to my mate L, who is also up the duff.
Now to set the seen, L, West and Duffer were the few people that were there for me when Connie and I split at Christmas time.
L is my mate, but thats as far as it goes, we get on great, but she would be far too high maintenance as a burd and not my type. I suppose that she isnt unnatractive, in fact she is probably quite pretty, but she just isnt my type. She is however a really good mate, funny, smart and intelligent. I hold her in high regard and we tell each other loads of stuff. Its good having bloke mates like west and duffer but sometimes you cant quite show your sensitive side to a bloke mate.
So Connie sees these messages and goes off on one, why are you txting her, I dont think you should be calling her this name or that name, is there something going on, do you like her, do you want to be with her and not me, blah blah blah blah blah.
I am calm to start with and tell her nothings going on and that L is my mate, she keeps going on. I loose the plot a little.
Who is she to question me over some innocent txts. I storm out and dont come back until she is in bed. When I do, Im not sure if she is sleeping or just lying in the dark and I dont make eye contact to find out. I switch on my bedside lamp and read my book, she doesnt turn over or makes any move to apologise. I sleep with a clear conscious
I think that Im owed an apology and I think that I might hold out from speaking until I get one.
A prelude to the big row event of the week
Being a pregnant daddy isnt easy. In fact I have come to the conclusion that being a bloke isnt at all easy in teh slightest.
Women demand equality and quite honestly I think they are the fairer, more intelligent and stronger sex, im not making that up.
I think that men are where women were in the days of emily pankhurst and that we are now second class citizens. More wifes are cheating on their husbands, they are better in the workplace than us, they can still hold the Im a woman and thats a mans job card. But, above all they can walk all over us and blame it upon the time of the month, their female hormones, or just plain being a bitch and get away with it.
Men are the battered wifes of the 90's, bring back chovanist equality.
Women demand equality and quite honestly I think they are the fairer, more intelligent and stronger sex, im not making that up.
I think that men are where women were in the days of emily pankhurst and that we are now second class citizens. More wifes are cheating on their husbands, they are better in the workplace than us, they can still hold the Im a woman and thats a mans job card. But, above all they can walk all over us and blame it upon the time of the month, their female hormones, or just plain being a bitch and get away with it.
Men are the battered wifes of the 90's, bring back chovanist equality.
Hide and Seek with Baby
Im sure this baby is playing hide and seek with me.
Connie shouted me through the other night and she said every time she splashed a big wave over her bump, baby seemed to visibly move which could be seen from teh outside.
I took over the water spashing duties and stared intently at her bump. I tried to filter out her breathing and tried to scan the entire bump in one go. Nothing, I was there for about 10 minutes.
I turned away for just a second to have a look at the boobies, and sure enough I missed an earthquake kick and afershock ripples.
Again, I turned back to the bump and stared intently, nothing,
Just leaving the bathroom, and kick kick kick
Its like wheres daddy, hahahhahahha, wheres daddy, hahahahhaha
Her nipples have gone a dark brown colour though, which I kind of like. \Sorry side, tracked there for a moment
Connie shouted me through the other night and she said every time she splashed a big wave over her bump, baby seemed to visibly move which could be seen from teh outside.
I took over the water spashing duties and stared intently at her bump. I tried to filter out her breathing and tried to scan the entire bump in one go. Nothing, I was there for about 10 minutes.
I turned away for just a second to have a look at the boobies, and sure enough I missed an earthquake kick and afershock ripples.
Again, I turned back to the bump and stared intently, nothing,
Just leaving the bathroom, and kick kick kick
Its like wheres daddy, hahahhahahha, wheres daddy, hahahahhaha
Her nipples have gone a dark brown colour though, which I kind of like. \Sorry side, tracked there for a moment
Sunday 18 May 2008
Almost Asleep
I did rub bump last night with the spray oil for pregnant mummies last night, but there was no kicks or movemements.
Connie says that she hasnt felt any kicks for a while and she gets worried. I tell her that little flutters are normal.
Just about asleep and he or she starts kicking like crazy, managed to feel at least four or five definitive kicks, one of them a real belter. Connie says she feels other ones, but they must be too sensitive for me to feel yet.
We both go to sleep happy.
Although its Sunday morning, she has to go to work today and I get up just as she is leaving the house. She calls me a hairy monster, and I tell her No, Im Her Hairy Monster.
I give bump a cuddle, resting my head on the top of her tummy, dont really want her to be going to work today, but its her choice.
Feeling a little low this morning.
Connie says that she hasnt felt any kicks for a while and she gets worried. I tell her that little flutters are normal.
Just about asleep and he or she starts kicking like crazy, managed to feel at least four or five definitive kicks, one of them a real belter. Connie says she feels other ones, but they must be too sensitive for me to feel yet.
We both go to sleep happy.
Although its Sunday morning, she has to go to work today and I get up just as she is leaving the house. She calls me a hairy monster, and I tell her No, Im Her Hairy Monster.
I give bump a cuddle, resting my head on the top of her tummy, dont really want her to be going to work today, but its her choice.
Feeling a little low this morning.
Saturday 17 May 2008
Week 24 updates - comments
Connie told me today that for the first time she had checked the weekly update on the website we use by herself.
I'm to blame here though, we always check it on a Saturday together and I was out on the beer today with a couple of friends of mine having a little me time.
Its the first time since new year (almost 5 months ago) that I had a drink, not that I drunk much at the best of times. Its also the first time that I have been out with friends.
The six pints of guiness are sitting heavily in my stomach and I can just tell that come tomorrow morning I will be experiencing the joys of pooping out the eye of the needle. My ass will be like a clowns pocket, a ripped out fireplace or a magicians sleeve.
As paul and leslie put it (both like a beer) I will be flying the japanese flag in my bathroom, but I cant understand what they mean by this :)
Mind you, I will have to get used to dirty bums again soon, so may as well take it on the chin.
I got a little distracted their for a moment, but Im a little dissapointed that she checked it herself, I like to read to her how babys getting on. Its quite hard sometimes being an active part of the pregnancy when your a dad.
I give bump a nice rub and give connie a hug while she tells me that technically baby could potentiatlly survive outside the womb at this stage in its development. I hope that doesnt ever happen to us, I just want it to have 10 fingers and 10 toes and it to be absolutely healthy with no black shadows to worry about.
She also tells me that some dads experience pride in their wifes at this stage, but I dont think that I feel this particulary different from normal, I am always proud of her. I should probably show it more though and I will endevour to do so.
She looks good today, she is giving off a glow and the top she is wearing is a smart black and dotty one that sort of cuddles bump. She looks very pregnant and I like her bump, I like seeing pregnant women when they sort of rest one hand on top of the bump, like its a leaning post and she is subconciously holding this pose today while she sits and watches britains got talent.
Im pleased to say that their is no water works or pregnant hormones today, or at least none that are aimed at me as an angry parent has come to the door about her middle daughter.
Think I have straightened that out in a rather diplomatic fashion, ever the peace keeper, but feel an overwhelming protective adrenalin injection when it comes to connie or the kids.
My hands are still shaking a little from the rush and Im going to suggest that we go upstairs in a minute and I will give her a rub with some stretch mark spray that she likes.
This was in a expectant mummy pamper set that I bought her some time ago, with nice lotions, creams and sprays which are kind to baby bumps, but I have to confess that she might have pampered me with it more often that I have her.
I'm to blame here though, we always check it on a Saturday together and I was out on the beer today with a couple of friends of mine having a little me time.
Its the first time since new year (almost 5 months ago) that I had a drink, not that I drunk much at the best of times. Its also the first time that I have been out with friends.
The six pints of guiness are sitting heavily in my stomach and I can just tell that come tomorrow morning I will be experiencing the joys of pooping out the eye of the needle. My ass will be like a clowns pocket, a ripped out fireplace or a magicians sleeve.
As paul and leslie put it (both like a beer) I will be flying the japanese flag in my bathroom, but I cant understand what they mean by this :)
Mind you, I will have to get used to dirty bums again soon, so may as well take it on the chin.
I got a little distracted their for a moment, but Im a little dissapointed that she checked it herself, I like to read to her how babys getting on. Its quite hard sometimes being an active part of the pregnancy when your a dad.
I give bump a nice rub and give connie a hug while she tells me that technically baby could potentiatlly survive outside the womb at this stage in its development. I hope that doesnt ever happen to us, I just want it to have 10 fingers and 10 toes and it to be absolutely healthy with no black shadows to worry about.
She also tells me that some dads experience pride in their wifes at this stage, but I dont think that I feel this particulary different from normal, I am always proud of her. I should probably show it more though and I will endevour to do so.
She looks good today, she is giving off a glow and the top she is wearing is a smart black and dotty one that sort of cuddles bump. She looks very pregnant and I like her bump, I like seeing pregnant women when they sort of rest one hand on top of the bump, like its a leaning post and she is subconciously holding this pose today while she sits and watches britains got talent.
Im pleased to say that their is no water works or pregnant hormones today, or at least none that are aimed at me as an angry parent has come to the door about her middle daughter.
Think I have straightened that out in a rather diplomatic fashion, ever the peace keeper, but feel an overwhelming protective adrenalin injection when it comes to connie or the kids.
My hands are still shaking a little from the rush and Im going to suggest that we go upstairs in a minute and I will give her a rub with some stretch mark spray that she likes.
This was in a expectant mummy pamper set that I bought her some time ago, with nice lotions, creams and sprays which are kind to baby bumps, but I have to confess that she might have pampered me with it more often that I have her.
Week 24 Update
Mother:
Your fundus (top of the uterus) reaches just above your navel! You are now aware of your baby's movements and may even be able to tell the sleep/wake cycles of your little one. It is important to recognize the signs of premature labor. Premature labor is actually more common in the summer months, thought to be caused by dehydration in some women, so continue drinking lots of water! Call your practitioner if you have any of the signs of premature labor.
Baby:
Your baby is almost completely formed, and is beginning to deposit brown fat on his or her body. The purpose of the brown fat is to retain body heat. Newborns are bad at regulating body temperature at first.
Babies born at this point have some chances of survival with very special care. They will be in the Intensive Care Unit, probably for many months. A major problem with premature babies is lung development.
S/he weighs in at 1 lb 5 ounces (595 grams) and 30 cms or 11.8 inches total length!
Dad:
Mom is now visibly pregnant for most everyone to notice. You may feel a swell of pride when talking about her and the new baby. This is a normal feeling. though some men say it really surprised them.
Your fundus (top of the uterus) reaches just above your navel! You are now aware of your baby's movements and may even be able to tell the sleep/wake cycles of your little one. It is important to recognize the signs of premature labor. Premature labor is actually more common in the summer months, thought to be caused by dehydration in some women, so continue drinking lots of water! Call your practitioner if you have any of the signs of premature labor.
Baby:
Your baby is almost completely formed, and is beginning to deposit brown fat on his or her body. The purpose of the brown fat is to retain body heat. Newborns are bad at regulating body temperature at first.
Babies born at this point have some chances of survival with very special care. They will be in the Intensive Care Unit, probably for many months. A major problem with premature babies is lung development.
S/he weighs in at 1 lb 5 ounces (595 grams) and 30 cms or 11.8 inches total length!
Dad:
Mom is now visibly pregnant for most everyone to notice. You may feel a swell of pride when talking about her and the new baby. This is a normal feeling. though some men say it really surprised them.
Thursday 15 May 2008
Unhappy hormones part 2
Every day just seems to be an emotional rollercoaster this week. I thought that the fairies had returned hormones to their normal level of service but not today.
Our eldest daughter was on the phone last night as she had found a picture of her current boyfriend's (who i currently think is quite a nice bloke) ex girlfriend in a an old box under his bed.
For some reason this upset her greatly and she was on the phone roaring and greeting. I pointed out that she had pictures of her ex boyfriends on her PC and her new squeeze didnt seem to mind.
I happened to call her a fruit cake to connie and she has been living the dream ever since.
Today at work, I phoned connie to ask how she was and see what she had planned for the day and how the bump was.
She told me she had seen Lauren and she was still upset. I called her a fruitcake and the atmosphere became decidedly icey.
I called her later and still icey.
I called her later again and told her I was fed up of all the ice maiden routine and I was expecting a nice warm welcome when I got home. I joked with her that I wasnt going to take any pish from her.
I gets home and its all morbid and water works, the night went downhill from there.
Connie says she is tearfull, fed up, depressed, bored. I tell her to get a grip but Im digging myself a deeper and deeper hole. AGAIN. Why do I never learn just to keep my big fat skinny gob shut.
The dog shits in next door neighbours garden, I take the bucket out, I work like I do every night. Either working on the computer or at the moment I am converting our loft into an extra bedroom for our middle daughter for when the baby arrives. I even find time to read Holly some stories from the next books she got at the library today. I am knackered and in no mood for this shit.
I happen to ask connie if she had any free time on her hands tomorrow could she phone the mortgage company and see if they wil give us 3K to finish the loft. Well, there it started.
I dont know how to do that, they will ask me lots of details I wont know the answers to...
Why are you spending money on the loft when you could be doing up the kitchen, blah blah blah blah.....
Theres no winning for me, I only have one pair of hands and I am literally working at full tilt as it is. I have promised her that she will get the house finished before the baby is here but before i take more money on our mortgage I want to be debt free.
I told her after we got back together in December that I planned to be debt free by the end of June (on target) and that once this happened I could afford to take extra money on the mortgage to finish the house.
Even although its still the middle of may and the only money that I have spent on the loft is a couple hundred quid, she doesnt seem to appreciate that I dont have the money just now to do the kitchen, but 3K from the bank to do the loft wouldnt really be a big issue.
A short row ensues.
Why cant I just come home to someone happy and smiling thats enjoying being pregnant. The fact is she is bloody miserable quite honestly most of the time.
Im not sure if this is pregnant hormones or not, connie hasnt even been really know to be the smiley type.
Will hang in there and see what the big dipper is doing tomorrow.
Our eldest daughter was on the phone last night as she had found a picture of her current boyfriend's (who i currently think is quite a nice bloke) ex girlfriend in a an old box under his bed.
For some reason this upset her greatly and she was on the phone roaring and greeting. I pointed out that she had pictures of her ex boyfriends on her PC and her new squeeze didnt seem to mind.
I happened to call her a fruit cake to connie and she has been living the dream ever since.
Today at work, I phoned connie to ask how she was and see what she had planned for the day and how the bump was.
She told me she had seen Lauren and she was still upset. I called her a fruitcake and the atmosphere became decidedly icey.
I called her later and still icey.
I called her later again and told her I was fed up of all the ice maiden routine and I was expecting a nice warm welcome when I got home. I joked with her that I wasnt going to take any pish from her.
I gets home and its all morbid and water works, the night went downhill from there.
Connie says she is tearfull, fed up, depressed, bored. I tell her to get a grip but Im digging myself a deeper and deeper hole. AGAIN. Why do I never learn just to keep my big fat skinny gob shut.
The dog shits in next door neighbours garden, I take the bucket out, I work like I do every night. Either working on the computer or at the moment I am converting our loft into an extra bedroom for our middle daughter for when the baby arrives. I even find time to read Holly some stories from the next books she got at the library today. I am knackered and in no mood for this shit.
I happen to ask connie if she had any free time on her hands tomorrow could she phone the mortgage company and see if they wil give us 3K to finish the loft. Well, there it started.
I dont know how to do that, they will ask me lots of details I wont know the answers to...
Why are you spending money on the loft when you could be doing up the kitchen, blah blah blah blah.....
Theres no winning for me, I only have one pair of hands and I am literally working at full tilt as it is. I have promised her that she will get the house finished before the baby is here but before i take more money on our mortgage I want to be debt free.
I told her after we got back together in December that I planned to be debt free by the end of June (on target) and that once this happened I could afford to take extra money on the mortgage to finish the house.
Even although its still the middle of may and the only money that I have spent on the loft is a couple hundred quid, she doesnt seem to appreciate that I dont have the money just now to do the kitchen, but 3K from the bank to do the loft wouldnt really be a big issue.
A short row ensues.
Why cant I just come home to someone happy and smiling thats enjoying being pregnant. The fact is she is bloody miserable quite honestly most of the time.
Im not sure if this is pregnant hormones or not, connie hasnt even been really know to be the smiley type.
Will hang in there and see what the big dipper is doing tomorrow.
Unhappy Hormones part 1
Lauren our eldest daughters on the phone.
She says she has found a pic of her boyfriends X while raking through his private stuff. She is very upset over this... ????????????????
Connie says she is insecure and hates herself and cant deal with relationships. I put my foot in it as usual by over simplyfying and being blunt.
I tell connie, what does she expect as she hasnt exactly had great role models when it comes to relationships.
I dig myself a deeper grave by saying:
You cheated on your first husband, so he cheated on you! Then he leaves you for another woman abandons Lauren and has kids of his own. Then your mum leaves your dad, then your mums meets a man called Robert who runs away with the slut down the road. Then your mum cant make up her mind what relationships she wants to be in whether its scott or roy or tom dick or harry. Your auntie carol is going out with a married man and to top it all youve cheated on me !
(hence why we broke up last christmas)
Naturally, this doesnt go down well, I should learn by now that the first rule of holes is to stop digging when I am in one. I feel stupid for saying it, but I did.
Al waterworks and pregnant hormones ahoy.
We make up before bed.
She says she has found a pic of her boyfriends X while raking through his private stuff. She is very upset over this... ????????????????
Connie says she is insecure and hates herself and cant deal with relationships. I put my foot in it as usual by over simplyfying and being blunt.
I tell connie, what does she expect as she hasnt exactly had great role models when it comes to relationships.
I dig myself a deeper grave by saying:
You cheated on your first husband, so he cheated on you! Then he leaves you for another woman abandons Lauren and has kids of his own. Then your mum leaves your dad, then your mums meets a man called Robert who runs away with the slut down the road. Then your mum cant make up her mind what relationships she wants to be in whether its scott or roy or tom dick or harry. Your auntie carol is going out with a married man and to top it all youve cheated on me !
(hence why we broke up last christmas)
Naturally, this doesnt go down well, I should learn by now that the first rule of holes is to stop digging when I am in one. I feel stupid for saying it, but I did.
Al waterworks and pregnant hormones ahoy.
We make up before bed.
Tuesday 13 May 2008
big kicks today
Connie was sitting down on the couch today and I got to feel some nice big kicks
Although, connie has been saying that she has been feeling it a lot this week, the little bugger seems to quit moving any time that it hears me.
So, after many near misses I got to feel it kick tonight. Thats a really nice feeling. It seem to kick in two places all at once and I actually seen it bump about. That was really cool.
Our youngest daughter has just seen it too, and she is amazed that she can actually see something move in mummys tummy, they are both giggling while I type this, so Im off to see some more baby bumps.
10 minutes later......
Sure enough, I get through there and it stops, i sit watching belly for 9 minutes intently but nothing at all, not so much as even a little hickup. Connie says that I missed the biggest kick in the world, thats what they were giggling about.
Although, connie has been saying that she has been feeling it a lot this week, the little bugger seems to quit moving any time that it hears me.
So, after many near misses I got to feel it kick tonight. Thats a really nice feeling. It seem to kick in two places all at once and I actually seen it bump about. That was really cool.
Our youngest daughter has just seen it too, and she is amazed that she can actually see something move in mummys tummy, they are both giggling while I type this, so Im off to see some more baby bumps.
10 minutes later......
Sure enough, I get through there and it stops, i sit watching belly for 9 minutes intently but nothing at all, not so much as even a little hickup. Connie says that I missed the biggest kick in the world, thats what they were giggling about.
I want a granpa like this, I wanna be a papa like this
We went to a bar-b-que on Saturday night at Connies mums partners house. (scott)
But as it was raining when we got there everybody had moved into the carport.
Soon after mostly everybody moved into the house and there was only myself, one of scotts mates and scotts elderley brother Iain.
Iain, a nicer man than you could possibly ever meet, started to tell some of his life stories. It was so amazing that it wouldnt have been possible to make it up.
As a young boy, he remember knocking ten bells out of benny hill for taking the piss out of him and his dad had to come to the door. Iain was only a little lad and Benny Hills dad couldnt believe it.
Iain's dad had been good friends with Lawrence of Arabia and as a young boy he remembers having to fill his motorbike gas tank with petrol. He recalls meeting the man, with a long leather overcoat on and flying googles. How cool is that.
If that wasnt enough for one mans life high point, Iain as a young man travelled and ended up in Barcelona where he took a bloke to a bull fight. That bloke was the son (Iain describes him as possibly illigitimate son) of none other than Salvador Dali.
Iain, somehow manages to get to meet the man himself and ends up being friends with him.
He says at this point, that quite unlike what people expected of Salvador Dali, he was a tremendous man and as sort of mayor or patron of his village, the villagers worshipped him as he bent over backwards to meet their every need and request.
Iain goes off at a bit of a tangent at this point and tells me about Dali's livingroom. Iain describes it as an expanse of pure white with sunlight beaming in everywhere, but without any visible windows. After some time, he worked out that the light was being piped in via shafts and mirrors to illuminate the entire room all round the day. He says it was truly amazing.
He recalls from his friendship with Dali, that he used to sell the paintings he didnt like and keep the very best ones for himself. I dont find this hard to believe at all.
Iain describes his favourite Dali to be a portrait of a woman with her back to the painter, looking into a mirror, where you can see her front. He says that it was mesmorizing.
Now, at this point Im thinking, Lawrence of Arabia, followed by Salvador Dali is a hard act to follow but read on.....
Iain back in London, and married by this time, explains that his wifes sister, or cousin or something or other was on the game, he puts no fine a point on it, blunt and straight to the fact she was a hoor. Anyways, the hoor has a son, who the family adopt as their own.
The son, when he becomes a grown man, because the choreographer and one of the dancers in mary poppins and one night invites Iain to a party with Sammy Davis Jnr.
Iain, describes the party as no big deal, everybody was just normal people and "puff" was going around, it was the first time he had tried it. He shared a "puff" with Sammy and seeing a dancer explains that she appeared to be loveliest vision that he ever did see. I get the impression he takes the young lady home stoned out his box and rattles the tart, but he is too much of a gentleman to say.
Now, none of this story was told in a boastfull way, he talks of these characters as if they were jow bloggs down the pub.
But he says, the man that is my ultimate hero, is the guy that saved my brothers life on top of a roof one day. How nice is that, after all the really cool people he has met, his hero is a normal every day bloke, now thats class.
he stands up, rubs me on the back, goes in to the house and plays with all the kids. I am in awe by this point.
Bet your wondering why that was in my daddy diaries, well the reason is simple.
I want a grandad like that, I could listen to that entire story a hundred times over, I definately missed out there when I was a kid.
Failing that, I want to be a grandad like that one day with cool stories and a soft gently manly grandpa way.
Now, my dads pretty cool dont get me wrong and he makes a pretty good grandpa to my kids, so I think he has already achieved the status that I hope to one day aspire too.
But as it was raining when we got there everybody had moved into the carport.
Soon after mostly everybody moved into the house and there was only myself, one of scotts mates and scotts elderley brother Iain.
Iain, a nicer man than you could possibly ever meet, started to tell some of his life stories. It was so amazing that it wouldnt have been possible to make it up.
As a young boy, he remember knocking ten bells out of benny hill for taking the piss out of him and his dad had to come to the door. Iain was only a little lad and Benny Hills dad couldnt believe it.
Iain's dad had been good friends with Lawrence of Arabia and as a young boy he remembers having to fill his motorbike gas tank with petrol. He recalls meeting the man, with a long leather overcoat on and flying googles. How cool is that.
If that wasnt enough for one mans life high point, Iain as a young man travelled and ended up in Barcelona where he took a bloke to a bull fight. That bloke was the son (Iain describes him as possibly illigitimate son) of none other than Salvador Dali.
Iain, somehow manages to get to meet the man himself and ends up being friends with him.
He says at this point, that quite unlike what people expected of Salvador Dali, he was a tremendous man and as sort of mayor or patron of his village, the villagers worshipped him as he bent over backwards to meet their every need and request.
Iain goes off at a bit of a tangent at this point and tells me about Dali's livingroom. Iain describes it as an expanse of pure white with sunlight beaming in everywhere, but without any visible windows. After some time, he worked out that the light was being piped in via shafts and mirrors to illuminate the entire room all round the day. He says it was truly amazing.
He recalls from his friendship with Dali, that he used to sell the paintings he didnt like and keep the very best ones for himself. I dont find this hard to believe at all.
Iain describes his favourite Dali to be a portrait of a woman with her back to the painter, looking into a mirror, where you can see her front. He says that it was mesmorizing.
Now, at this point Im thinking, Lawrence of Arabia, followed by Salvador Dali is a hard act to follow but read on.....
Iain back in London, and married by this time, explains that his wifes sister, or cousin or something or other was on the game, he puts no fine a point on it, blunt and straight to the fact she was a hoor. Anyways, the hoor has a son, who the family adopt as their own.
The son, when he becomes a grown man, because the choreographer and one of the dancers in mary poppins and one night invites Iain to a party with Sammy Davis Jnr.
Iain, describes the party as no big deal, everybody was just normal people and "puff" was going around, it was the first time he had tried it. He shared a "puff" with Sammy and seeing a dancer explains that she appeared to be loveliest vision that he ever did see. I get the impression he takes the young lady home stoned out his box and rattles the tart, but he is too much of a gentleman to say.
Now, none of this story was told in a boastfull way, he talks of these characters as if they were jow bloggs down the pub.
But he says, the man that is my ultimate hero, is the guy that saved my brothers life on top of a roof one day. How nice is that, after all the really cool people he has met, his hero is a normal every day bloke, now thats class.
he stands up, rubs me on the back, goes in to the house and plays with all the kids. I am in awe by this point.
Bet your wondering why that was in my daddy diaries, well the reason is simple.
I want a grandad like that, I could listen to that entire story a hundred times over, I definately missed out there when I was a kid.
Failing that, I want to be a grandad like that one day with cool stories and a soft gently manly grandpa way.
Now, my dads pretty cool dont get me wrong and he makes a pretty good grandpa to my kids, so I think he has already achieved the status that I hope to one day aspire too.
week 23 update
Mother:
During your appointments your practitioner may palpate your abdomen. This process is a way of feeling the position of the baby. A tape measure will also be used to measure your fundal height. This is the top of your uterus and is a good indicator of the continued growth of your baby. Some people will worry if they measure a bit "too big" or "too small." However, it is completely normal to have slight variations at this point. Be sure to ask your practitioner if you are worried. Stop by and check out our Belly Gallery to see other bellies!
Baby:
The baby's finger nails are almost fully formed and the lanugo darkens. Your baby continues to grow in preparation for the journey of birth. He or she is totally unaffected by the Braxton Hicks, or practice, contractions. Meconium, the baby's first stool, is developing. Baby weighs 1 pound 2 ounces (510 grams).
Dad:
Mom may actually feel Braxton Hicks contractions, or she might just happen to notice with her hand a slight tensing of her abdomen. This is just her uterine muscle preparing for birth. The uterus actually contracts at all phases of a woman's life, however, we rarely notice this unless our uterus is full! Though it is handy to know the signs of premature labor to help protect your baby.
During your appointments your practitioner may palpate your abdomen. This process is a way of feeling the position of the baby. A tape measure will also be used to measure your fundal height. This is the top of your uterus and is a good indicator of the continued growth of your baby. Some people will worry if they measure a bit "too big" or "too small." However, it is completely normal to have slight variations at this point. Be sure to ask your practitioner if you are worried. Stop by and check out our Belly Gallery to see other bellies!
Baby:
The baby's finger nails are almost fully formed and the lanugo darkens. Your baby continues to grow in preparation for the journey of birth. He or she is totally unaffected by the Braxton Hicks, or practice, contractions. Meconium, the baby's first stool, is developing. Baby weighs 1 pound 2 ounces (510 grams).
Dad:
Mom may actually feel Braxton Hicks contractions, or she might just happen to notice with her hand a slight tensing of her abdomen. This is just her uterine muscle preparing for birth. The uterus actually contracts at all phases of a woman's life, however, we rarely notice this unless our uterus is full! Though it is handy to know the signs of premature labor to help protect your baby.
Friday 9 May 2008
said the wrong thing
Lying in bed, Im rubbing bump
she say "what are you thinking about"
happened to say, i hope its a boy, see last post.
She says "whys that"
I says "becuase we have 3 girls and it would be nice to take a little boy golfing and fishing and do motorsport with him"
She says "you can do that with your daughters youve got, rant rant moan moan, rant moan, rant rant moan moan, more words sounding like moans, finish"
I backtrack quickly, I love my kids, I am close to my daughters, I encourage them to try all persuits from go-karting to rock climbing. Doenst mean that I dont want to do this with a boy though, someone with balls and proper hormones that dont go makkaracha and someone that doesnt watch westenders and chicken street.
Give me break woman, why dont you give me the answer to the question at the same time you ask the question so I know what the answer you want is.
she say "what are you thinking about"
happened to say, i hope its a boy, see last post.
She says "whys that"
I says "becuase we have 3 girls and it would be nice to take a little boy golfing and fishing and do motorsport with him"
She says "you can do that with your daughters youve got, rant rant moan moan, rant moan, rant rant moan moan, more words sounding like moans, finish"
I backtrack quickly, I love my kids, I am close to my daughters, I encourage them to try all persuits from go-karting to rock climbing. Doenst mean that I dont want to do this with a boy though, someone with balls and proper hormones that dont go makkaracha and someone that doesnt watch westenders and chicken street.
Give me break woman, why dont you give me the answer to the question at the same time you ask the question so I know what the answer you want is.
a little tiny baby bum & a bad hormone day
Connie phone me at work today and was going all radio rental
she says that her stomach had gone all hard and she could feel a distinctly round shape pushing out like a little bum or a head.
Hello little bum, said daddy....... Expecting a warm welcome when I get home.
No such luck for me when I got home, by the time I got home the pregnant elf had stolen all the feel good hormones and was giving it pissed off face as the grass wasnt cut, the courier hadnt arrived to take the wii fit away that I had sold on ebay and some other random reasons that she was pissed off as I clearly should have used my crystal ball and phoned the courier when they didnt turn up, even although she didnt tell me this until after the courier office was shut. And, considering she was on a weeks holiday but I had been at work all day it was clearly my fault.
Pregnant hormone, or bad wife syndrome, not really sure. We will go with pregnant hormone.
Suppose its too much to ask for a kiss and a cuddle.
I get a sorry later while im cutting the grass in the twilight evening and a peck on the lips. I also succesfully get a cup of tea, two in fact, one grudged and one offered.
Its 9.30 and im knackered already, i think im coming out in sympathy pains too.
She rubs my back while I earn some pennies on the computer writing reviews, this is welcomed and is about as close to physical contact that I have managed today.
The brown bucket used for the green waste is so jammed packed with grass that I couldnt shift it to beside the green bucket thats used for the bad waste that isnt recycled. Go figure.
Seen L today and she is complaining of fat swollen ankles, she calls them kankles which I find absolutely hilarious. Connie doesnt find this funny in the slighest, the pregnant elf made the tooth fairy steal the funny bone. Hoping the booby fairy will replace it in due course along with the new breasts that I have ordered.
L says she is having a fat day, someone told her she was looking very pregnant, which doesnt help her mood either. Uncle andy tries to smooth it over, but doenst really manage.
So between Kankle Woman and Funny Bone Hormone Wench im on a loosing streak today.
Had to go to the doctors and the menopausal old bag behind the counter complains i am 3 minutes late. Wonder if the police will be late when I take a shit through the sun roof of her car.
Eldest Teenage daughter rambling about deviant sex today also, she seems to think her gay but in the closet and denial friend craig (lovely boy, claims he is straight, when actual fact is clearly camper than christmas and is in sever need of a good rogering, even my non existant gaydar can tell this) may have attempted to have had it off with a water melon and also some undetermined object that he tried to heat up in the microwave, her friend tasha may have been anally fisted by her far too old for her boyfriend and did Connie and I ever experiment with bondage and water sports. Followed closely by the admission that she had found HER tub of tingle play gel in OUR drawers, did not improve my mood.
Middle teenage daughter is in a strop, I ask her originally for the first cup of tea (see above) was ingnored once and then was followed by, "what do you mean all the way over there to the kettle dad" response
Youngest daugher has nits today. Oh joy, so it will be head checks all round
I think i need my head checked too, if you catch my meaning. Im surrounded by hormones, lots and lots of little hormones. Hoping for a boy, please please make it a boy, just so he can share in my suffering.
I play wii sega bass fishing for 12 minutes to relax. Alloted time I am allowed before being subjected to the pish that is soaps.
Calling all gentleman out their in similar boat, this is why we drink gamble, swear and are unfaithfull cavemen bastards that like motorosport, contact games and playing with ourselves.
she says that her stomach had gone all hard and she could feel a distinctly round shape pushing out like a little bum or a head.
Hello little bum, said daddy....... Expecting a warm welcome when I get home.
No such luck for me when I got home, by the time I got home the pregnant elf had stolen all the feel good hormones and was giving it pissed off face as the grass wasnt cut, the courier hadnt arrived to take the wii fit away that I had sold on ebay and some other random reasons that she was pissed off as I clearly should have used my crystal ball and phoned the courier when they didnt turn up, even although she didnt tell me this until after the courier office was shut. And, considering she was on a weeks holiday but I had been at work all day it was clearly my fault.
Pregnant hormone, or bad wife syndrome, not really sure. We will go with pregnant hormone.
Suppose its too much to ask for a kiss and a cuddle.
I get a sorry later while im cutting the grass in the twilight evening and a peck on the lips. I also succesfully get a cup of tea, two in fact, one grudged and one offered.
Its 9.30 and im knackered already, i think im coming out in sympathy pains too.
She rubs my back while I earn some pennies on the computer writing reviews, this is welcomed and is about as close to physical contact that I have managed today.
The brown bucket used for the green waste is so jammed packed with grass that I couldnt shift it to beside the green bucket thats used for the bad waste that isnt recycled. Go figure.
Seen L today and she is complaining of fat swollen ankles, she calls them kankles which I find absolutely hilarious. Connie doesnt find this funny in the slighest, the pregnant elf made the tooth fairy steal the funny bone. Hoping the booby fairy will replace it in due course along with the new breasts that I have ordered.
L says she is having a fat day, someone told her she was looking very pregnant, which doesnt help her mood either. Uncle andy tries to smooth it over, but doenst really manage.
So between Kankle Woman and Funny Bone Hormone Wench im on a loosing streak today.
Had to go to the doctors and the menopausal old bag behind the counter complains i am 3 minutes late. Wonder if the police will be late when I take a shit through the sun roof of her car.
Eldest Teenage daughter rambling about deviant sex today also, she seems to think her gay but in the closet and denial friend craig (lovely boy, claims he is straight, when actual fact is clearly camper than christmas and is in sever need of a good rogering, even my non existant gaydar can tell this) may have attempted to have had it off with a water melon and also some undetermined object that he tried to heat up in the microwave, her friend tasha may have been anally fisted by her far too old for her boyfriend and did Connie and I ever experiment with bondage and water sports. Followed closely by the admission that she had found HER tub of tingle play gel in OUR drawers, did not improve my mood.
Middle teenage daughter is in a strop, I ask her originally for the first cup of tea (see above) was ingnored once and then was followed by, "what do you mean all the way over there to the kettle dad" response
Youngest daugher has nits today. Oh joy, so it will be head checks all round
I think i need my head checked too, if you catch my meaning. Im surrounded by hormones, lots and lots of little hormones. Hoping for a boy, please please make it a boy, just so he can share in my suffering.
I play wii sega bass fishing for 12 minutes to relax. Alloted time I am allowed before being subjected to the pish that is soaps.
Calling all gentleman out their in similar boat, this is why we drink gamble, swear and are unfaithfull cavemen bastards that like motorosport, contact games and playing with ourselves.
Sunday 4 May 2008
lots of kicks tonight
lying in bed, almost asleep.
Connie says that she is feeling lots and lots of movement high up near her ribs.
She puts my hand, and I can feel lots of little tickles on the palm of my hand.
Then suddenly, one big thump. It stops after that, and he or she must have got themselves comfy in their as it stops.
Im quite excited by feeling it move so much, but I try to hide it, im sleepy and I wake up with the support pillow.
Connie left for work early and its a Sunday......boo
Connie says that she is feeling lots and lots of movement high up near her ribs.
She puts my hand, and I can feel lots of little tickles on the palm of my hand.
Then suddenly, one big thump. It stops after that, and he or she must have got themselves comfy in their as it stops.
Im quite excited by feeling it move so much, but I try to hide it, im sleepy and I wake up with the support pillow.
Connie left for work early and its a Sunday......boo
Scarey Movies make baby go nuts
We go to see a scary movie today, its called teh EYE
Both of us are jumping at a few bits and connie actually screams out loud at one point.
Earlier I had dared her to do this, but she refuses, but she does actually scream. Im confused whether she completed the dare or it was a genuine scream.
The baby doesnt like the fear going on and his giving it macca characha in the womb. its kicking like mad.
She wont let me feel it in the cinema, depsite the place being entirely empty.
I buy a wii fit to compensate.
Both of us are jumping at a few bits and connie actually screams out loud at one point.
Earlier I had dared her to do this, but she refuses, but she does actually scream. Im confused whether she completed the dare or it was a genuine scream.
The baby doesnt like the fear going on and his giving it macca characha in the womb. its kicking like mad.
She wont let me feel it in the cinema, depsite the place being entirely empty.
I buy a wii fit to compensate.
Week 22 update
Mother:
You are still feeling pretty good and active in this second trimester. If you are still having aches and pains or feel like you are slowing down you may want to look into some different remedies for the problems you're experiencing.
Sex is something that many pregnant couples don't really discuss at length. However, sexuality can change a lot during pregnancy. In the second trimester libido is usually increased. With the increase blood flow and secretions in the vagina and clitoris, some women become orgasmic or multi-orgasmic for the first time.
(not in this house, its off the menu)
Baby:
The baby is getting bigger and continuing to practice for extrauterine life. This week your baby has developed eyebrows! S/he weighs about 15 ounces (425 grams) and is 27.5 cms or 10.8 inches total length!
Dad:
Have you packed on a few pounds since the beginning of pregnancy? If so you are not alone. Many dads do put on some weight along with mom. You might also experience other symptoms of pregnancy, also known as couvade or sympathetic pregnancy syndrome.
(no, my bodies a temple)
You are still feeling pretty good and active in this second trimester. If you are still having aches and pains or feel like you are slowing down you may want to look into some different remedies for the problems you're experiencing.
Sex is something that many pregnant couples don't really discuss at length. However, sexuality can change a lot during pregnancy. In the second trimester libido is usually increased. With the increase blood flow and secretions in the vagina and clitoris, some women become orgasmic or multi-orgasmic for the first time.
(not in this house, its off the menu)
Baby:
The baby is getting bigger and continuing to practice for extrauterine life. This week your baby has developed eyebrows! S/he weighs about 15 ounces (425 grams) and is 27.5 cms or 10.8 inches total length!
Dad:
Have you packed on a few pounds since the beginning of pregnancy? If so you are not alone. Many dads do put on some weight along with mom. You might also experience other symptoms of pregnancy, also known as couvade or sympathetic pregnancy syndrome.
(no, my bodies a temple)
Holly is sick
Holly spews every where, our youngest child.
I hate cleaning up sick, it really gives me the boke.
I cant believe we are going to be doing this all over again without another baby...... what have we done.
I hate cleaning up sick, it really gives me the boke.
I cant believe we are going to be doing this all over again without another baby...... what have we done.
1st May - First kick
Its the 1st of May and I feel the baby kick for the first time.
We are lying in bed and I she says its doing summersaults in there.
I put my hand on her stomach, and although I can feel roughly where the hard areas area, i dont feel what she feels.
Then, out of the blue, I feel a very faint kick, its very faint and its the only one, but I go to sleep happy.
I awake half way through the night with pee pee pants next to me, and I am reliable informed that I had to be shaken away from teh suport pillow.
We are lying in bed and I she says its doing summersaults in there.
I put my hand on her stomach, and although I can feel roughly where the hard areas area, i dont feel what she feels.
Then, out of the blue, I feel a very faint kick, its very faint and its the only one, but I go to sleep happy.
I awake half way through the night with pee pee pants next to me, and I am reliable informed that I had to be shaken away from teh suport pillow.
Week 21 update.
Mother:
Everyone is probably telling you what sex your baby is using different myths! Some people find this fun, other find it annoying. Using things like how you carry, what you eat, the Chinese Gender Chart, or other myths are fun, but not always accurate. Have you decided whether you want to find out the gender of your baby? There are many things to consider before doing so, and still your baby may not cooperate.
Baby:
Your baby can still move all over in the amniotic fluid. Towards the end of this trimester the baby will begin to settle, usually in a head down position (Although some babies do not turn head down until late in the last trimester.). About 3-4% of babies will remain in a breech position at term. Your baby weighs just under a pound (13 ounces or 369 grams).
Dad:
Don't panic over childbirth classes. Every dad there is probably having similar feelings to you. Just smile and know that your childbirth educator is not going to call you out in class. It's not a pass/fail class - think of it as auditing.
(childirth class, last time we had a baby connie almost choked me)
Everyone is probably telling you what sex your baby is using different myths! Some people find this fun, other find it annoying. Using things like how you carry, what you eat, the Chinese Gender Chart, or other myths are fun, but not always accurate. Have you decided whether you want to find out the gender of your baby? There are many things to consider before doing so, and still your baby may not cooperate.
Baby:
Your baby can still move all over in the amniotic fluid. Towards the end of this trimester the baby will begin to settle, usually in a head down position (Although some babies do not turn head down until late in the last trimester.). About 3-4% of babies will remain in a breech position at term. Your baby weighs just under a pound (13 ounces or 369 grams).
Dad:
Don't panic over childbirth classes. Every dad there is probably having similar feelings to you. Just smile and know that your childbirth educator is not going to call you out in class. It's not a pass/fail class - think of it as auditing.
(childirth class, last time we had a baby connie almost choked me)
The pram centre
We are in the pram centre and we are having a row over prams.
She has picked out a hideous pram and I have picked out a three wheeler.
As it has a fleece rug in it that has doggy foot prints on it, she takes an instant dislike to it.
We have a row, she leaves the shop and waits in the car.
I pretend to browse for another ten minutes, im not chasing after her like a lost puppy.
She gets out the car, we have another row, she goes home in the car.
I go to subway and buy a cheese and stake sandwich and ask for directions at the bus stop as to which bus to get.
The guy at teh bus stop with learning difficulties, tells me the time, the route and how much it will cost me. Im very impressed, its all very rain man.
There is a ned at the bus stop in a tracksuit, im sitting on the bench waiting for the bus to get here and eating my roll.
He is spitting constantly on the ground and im consdiring whether to banjo the arsehole when the bus comes and saves me the bother.
L txts to say that she seen me on her way past IN THE CAR, thanks for picking me up luv.....
I get home and go straight out in my own car to b&q for for diy supplies that I need, she passed the opposite way but doesnt even look in my direction.
I phone her when im in b&q and she comes and meets me and we kiss and make up.
We go home and buy a pram and other bits and the rest of bits and pieces we need online at mothercare and save ourself a few quid as I have a discount voucher and there is a sale on last years three wheelers.
She has picked out a hideous pram and I have picked out a three wheeler.
As it has a fleece rug in it that has doggy foot prints on it, she takes an instant dislike to it.
We have a row, she leaves the shop and waits in the car.
I pretend to browse for another ten minutes, im not chasing after her like a lost puppy.
She gets out the car, we have another row, she goes home in the car.
I go to subway and buy a cheese and stake sandwich and ask for directions at the bus stop as to which bus to get.
The guy at teh bus stop with learning difficulties, tells me the time, the route and how much it will cost me. Im very impressed, its all very rain man.
There is a ned at the bus stop in a tracksuit, im sitting on the bench waiting for the bus to get here and eating my roll.
He is spitting constantly on the ground and im consdiring whether to banjo the arsehole when the bus comes and saves me the bother.
L txts to say that she seen me on her way past IN THE CAR, thanks for picking me up luv.....
I get home and go straight out in my own car to b&q for for diy supplies that I need, she passed the opposite way but doesnt even look in my direction.
I phone her when im in b&q and she comes and meets me and we kiss and make up.
We go home and buy a pram and other bits and the rest of bits and pieces we need online at mothercare and save ourself a few quid as I have a discount voucher and there is a sale on last years three wheelers.
week 20 update
Mother:
You are half way through your pregnancy! Congratulations! Your belly button may pop out and stay that way as your uterus presses upwards. Some people will have trouble breathing as their lungs become cramped. This will usually continue until the baby "drops." In a first pregnancy this will generally occur 4-6 weeks before your birth and with subsequent pregnancies not until you are in labor. Once the baby "drops." You will have to urinate more frequently, hard to believe, eh? Remembering to do your pelvic tilts prior to laying down will hopefully allow you a few more minutes before the next bathroom break.
Baby:
Lanugo forms from sebum and skin cells to create vernix. This creamy white substance is believed to help protect the baby inutero. It will cling to the lanugo and in the creases. This is also something that can be seen sometimes after the birth. Rumor has it that nursery nurses use it for hand lotion, because of its smooth, protective quality.
You may be aware of sleep wake cycles in your little one. The weight is now up to 10 ounces (283 grams) and the baby measures about 25 cms total length, about 9.8 inches. Many moms have an ultrasound at week 20. It may be your first peek at baby.
Dad:
Take mom out to dinner to celebrate the half-way point in pregnancy. My husband adds that a gift for the baby is also a nice touch. This is particularly true if you're just finding out if your baby is a girl or a boy.
( we have dinner, and we buy some baby grows from next)
You are half way through your pregnancy! Congratulations! Your belly button may pop out and stay that way as your uterus presses upwards. Some people will have trouble breathing as their lungs become cramped. This will usually continue until the baby "drops." In a first pregnancy this will generally occur 4-6 weeks before your birth and with subsequent pregnancies not until you are in labor. Once the baby "drops." You will have to urinate more frequently, hard to believe, eh? Remembering to do your pelvic tilts prior to laying down will hopefully allow you a few more minutes before the next bathroom break.
Baby:
Lanugo forms from sebum and skin cells to create vernix. This creamy white substance is believed to help protect the baby inutero. It will cling to the lanugo and in the creases. This is also something that can be seen sometimes after the birth. Rumor has it that nursery nurses use it for hand lotion, because of its smooth, protective quality.
You may be aware of sleep wake cycles in your little one. The weight is now up to 10 ounces (283 grams) and the baby measures about 25 cms total length, about 9.8 inches. Many moms have an ultrasound at week 20. It may be your first peek at baby.
Dad:
Take mom out to dinner to celebrate the half-way point in pregnancy. My husband adds that a gift for the baby is also a nice touch. This is particularly true if you're just finding out if your baby is a girl or a boy.
( we have dinner, and we buy some baby grows from next)
Its a maisy run up the wing, he shoots, he scores
Connie is taking our youngest daughter to school today and just as she turns the corner, bang
Some little boy has done a maisy run up the wing of the playground, banged in the right foot, bent it like archie gemmel around the jumper goal post and bang its in the back of the net.
Unfortunately, on this occasions the so called net, is my pregnat wife.
She gives the little boy pelters abuse, tells the headmistress and basically goes bananas.
She is a little bruised and sore, but it seems to have awakened baby, as he or she is giving it salsa classes in the womb.
Hope its Ok, thinking about this quite a lot this week.
Some little boy has done a maisy run up the wing of the playground, banged in the right foot, bent it like archie gemmel around the jumper goal post and bang its in the back of the net.
Unfortunately, on this occasions the so called net, is my pregnat wife.
She gives the little boy pelters abuse, tells the headmistress and basically goes bananas.
She is a little bruised and sore, but it seems to have awakened baby, as he or she is giving it salsa classes in the womb.
Hope its Ok, thinking about this quite a lot this week.
Week 19 update
Mother:
If you have not looked into childbirth classes, now is the time to do so. Childbirth education is a great way of informing yourself about pregnancy, labor and birth. There are many different types of classes available and many different types of teachers. Enroll now before the spaces are all gone! Today's classes generally offer topics to fit everyone's birth wishes.
Find a class that best fits your schedule. Some classes meet for a few hours every week for several weeks, while other meet for an intense period of time over one or two days.
Baby:
This is an impressive week for growth! The baby will increase in weight to 8 ounces (227 grams)! If you are having a girl, her ovaries now contain primitive egg cells. Lanugo appears all over the baby's body. This fine hair will remain until birth draws nearer. Sometimes you can still see some on the baby's face and ears after birth.
Permanent teeth buds are forming behind the already formed milk teeth buds.
Dad:
Mom may start asking you if you feel the baby move. Invariably you either can't feel the baby yet or the baby quits moving as soon as you put your hand over it. This is very normal. Most people can't feel the baby move from the outside until around week 28.
(thats a no from me, gutted )
If you have not looked into childbirth classes, now is the time to do so. Childbirth education is a great way of informing yourself about pregnancy, labor and birth. There are many different types of classes available and many different types of teachers. Enroll now before the spaces are all gone! Today's classes generally offer topics to fit everyone's birth wishes.
Find a class that best fits your schedule. Some classes meet for a few hours every week for several weeks, while other meet for an intense period of time over one or two days.
Baby:
This is an impressive week for growth! The baby will increase in weight to 8 ounces (227 grams)! If you are having a girl, her ovaries now contain primitive egg cells. Lanugo appears all over the baby's body. This fine hair will remain until birth draws nearer. Sometimes you can still see some on the baby's face and ears after birth.
Permanent teeth buds are forming behind the already formed milk teeth buds.
Dad:
Mom may start asking you if you feel the baby move. Invariably you either can't feel the baby yet or the baby quits moving as soon as you put your hand over it. This is very normal. Most people can't feel the baby move from the outside until around week 28.
(thats a no from me, gutted )
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in teh water
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water.
The mood swings and big teeth attacks seem to have died down...... until.....
Britains got talent, a little boy comes on and sings opera, sort of Alled Jones style.
He is excellent, but it sets connie off on a complete freeko streak and has her absolutely bawling her eyes out.
I think we need a bigger boat.......
Doo Dooo, DOooo Doooo, Dooo Doo, Dunn Ahhhhh
The mood swings and big teeth attacks seem to have died down...... until.....
Britains got talent, a little boy comes on and sings opera, sort of Alled Jones style.
He is excellent, but it sets connie off on a complete freeko streak and has her absolutely bawling her eyes out.
I think we need a bigger boat.......
Doo Dooo, DOooo Doooo, Dooo Doo, Dunn Ahhhhh
Heatbeat trip to the MIdwife
We go to the midwifes today for a check up and she searches for the babies heartbeat.
She cant find it at first, and I have an instant moment of panic.
Its only for a second and suddenly we are hear the baby.
The heartbeats sound like a choo choo train.
I cant contain myself from laughing, but its a sort of uncontrollable does of the stoned giggles that you can stop yourself and you dont really know why you are laughing.
I am dying to put my hand in the air and with a couple of downward motions, go WOO WOO, all aboard, but I resist the temptation.
Connie mentions to the midwife that she is loosign weight, but she explains that is perfectly normal. She could have fooled me, she is the size of an artic lorry.
She cant find it at first, and I have an instant moment of panic.
Its only for a second and suddenly we are hear the baby.
The heartbeats sound like a choo choo train.
I cant contain myself from laughing, but its a sort of uncontrollable does of the stoned giggles that you can stop yourself and you dont really know why you are laughing.
I am dying to put my hand in the air and with a couple of downward motions, go WOO WOO, all aboard, but I resist the temptation.
Connie mentions to the midwife that she is loosign weight, but she explains that is perfectly normal. She could have fooled me, she is the size of an artic lorry.
Week 18 - Read closely for the fau pau
Mother:
Sleeping may be increasingly difficult now, as your body grows. Try propping yourself with pillows to help you find a more comfortable sleeping position. You might also try doing pelvic tilts before bed, and always urinate before laying down.
If you haven't started yet, try playing around with baby names! Look through your family history, read books, look at combinations for girls and boys. Remember to ensure that the initials don't spell something rude, and never give your kids the same initials!
Baby:
At 20.5 cms or 8.1 inches total length, your baby is growing rapidly. S/he weighs about 7 ounces (198 grams). The bones are continuing the ossification process. The pads of the fingers and toes are formed and the fingerprints are developing as well.
Dad:
When I asked my husband what a good tip for dads would be at week eighteen, he said "Don't tell your wife she's starting to look fat, because that's about when you really start poofing out." Take that for what it's worth, from the father of seven.
(oops, should have read that first, before telling her she looked like a burst couch, a wizards sleeve, or a ripped out fireplace, lesson learned)
Sleeping may be increasingly difficult now, as your body grows. Try propping yourself with pillows to help you find a more comfortable sleeping position. You might also try doing pelvic tilts before bed, and always urinate before laying down.
If you haven't started yet, try playing around with baby names! Look through your family history, read books, look at combinations for girls and boys. Remember to ensure that the initials don't spell something rude, and never give your kids the same initials!
Baby:
At 20.5 cms or 8.1 inches total length, your baby is growing rapidly. S/he weighs about 7 ounces (198 grams). The bones are continuing the ossification process. The pads of the fingers and toes are formed and the fingerprints are developing as well.
Dad:
When I asked my husband what a good tip for dads would be at week eighteen, he said "Don't tell your wife she's starting to look fat, because that's about when you really start poofing out." Take that for what it's worth, from the father of seven.
(oops, should have read that first, before telling her she looked like a burst couch, a wizards sleeve, or a ripped out fireplace, lesson learned)
Support Pillows and Shagging
She bought a support pillow today, as she feels like she is sore when she sleeps and cant get comfy.
I can vouch for this, she is up and down like a yo yo for pee pees, then shes tossing and turning, then she is up and down. When she is sleepign, she is snoring like a barnyard animal.
I am seriously consdiring sleeping on teh couch.
She buys, this support pillow, its the length of the bed and its like a big topedo that goes in the middle between us.
That rules out an intimate contact, which quite honestly is off the cards, Im starting to think that she got pregnant using the immaculate conception technique as there isnt any daddy action going on here.
I find the pillow a proper distraction at first, but connie reliable informs me that every time she goes for a pee, she comes back and I am wrapped around it and she has to prise me off it and roll me back to my four inches of remaining bed space.
She of course claims that I have all the space, but considering her concept of six inches, I decide that she cant tell distance accurately.
Going to work for a rest, and im sure there will be many more sleepless nights to come.
I can vouch for this, she is up and down like a yo yo for pee pees, then shes tossing and turning, then she is up and down. When she is sleepign, she is snoring like a barnyard animal.
I am seriously consdiring sleeping on teh couch.
She buys, this support pillow, its the length of the bed and its like a big topedo that goes in the middle between us.
That rules out an intimate contact, which quite honestly is off the cards, Im starting to think that she got pregnant using the immaculate conception technique as there isnt any daddy action going on here.
I find the pillow a proper distraction at first, but connie reliable informs me that every time she goes for a pee, she comes back and I am wrapped around it and she has to prise me off it and roll me back to my four inches of remaining bed space.
She of course claims that I have all the space, but considering her concept of six inches, I decide that she cant tell distance accurately.
Going to work for a rest, and im sure there will be many more sleepless nights to come.
Week 17
Mood swings are still ongoing, not going to detail them here in case she catches me writing this, but its like catching a lift with the big dipper or the hulk.
Mother:
Your uterus is now about halfway between your pubic bone and navel. Your secretions all over your body may increase, due to the increased blood volume. So if you are sweating more, have nasal congestion, or are suffering from increased vaginal discharge this is nothing to worry about and will go away after the birth of the baby.
Baby:
Your baby is forming brown fat deposits under his or her skin, by the end of pregnancy this will account for 2-6% of their total body weight. This will help them maintain their body temperature when they are born. The baby weighs in at about 5 ounces (142 grams). This means that the baby now weighs more than the placenta. No new structures have formed.
Loud noises outside may actually cause the baby to startle.
Dad:
Do you know if there are any expectant dad classes in your area? You might try calling the hospital, birth center or local childbirth educators to find out what is offered in your location.
( not on your life, expectant dads getting together sounds like a trip to the boozer to me)
Mother:
Your uterus is now about halfway between your pubic bone and navel. Your secretions all over your body may increase, due to the increased blood volume. So if you are sweating more, have nasal congestion, or are suffering from increased vaginal discharge this is nothing to worry about and will go away after the birth of the baby.
Baby:
Your baby is forming brown fat deposits under his or her skin, by the end of pregnancy this will account for 2-6% of their total body weight. This will help them maintain their body temperature when they are born. The baby weighs in at about 5 ounces (142 grams). This means that the baby now weighs more than the placenta. No new structures have formed.
Loud noises outside may actually cause the baby to startle.
Dad:
Do you know if there are any expectant dad classes in your area? You might try calling the hospital, birth center or local childbirth educators to find out what is offered in your location.
( not on your life, expectant dads getting together sounds like a trip to the boozer to me)
Week 16 - its all quite on teh western front
Nothing happening this week to write about, it all pretty much a status quo. Rockign all over the world.
Mother:
You may begin to feel the baby move around this point. This is more likely to happen now if you are a multipara (someone who has had a previous child) or if you are very thin. Generally you will feel the baby move about one month earlier than you did in a previous pregnancy, mainly because you know what you are feeling. It is not uncommon for first time mothers to not recognize fetal movements until 22-24 weeks. These first movements are called "quickening." They can also be used in helping to determine your due date.
Baby:
Your baby's nails are well formed, and some babies are even in need of having their nails trimmed at birth. The ears have also moved from the neck to the head.
Your baby is emptying his or her bladder every 40-45 minutes. The limb movements are becoming more coordinated. Your baby is about 3 ounces (85 grams) and 6.3 inches (16 cms). Using an ultrasound you might be able to tell if your baby is a girl or boy at this point, but it's still a bit early.
Dad:
Have you been to a prenatal appointment recently? It might be nice to try to go again, it's been about a month since you've first heard the baby's heart beat. Think of it as a nice chance to sneak away for lunch together and to celebrate your baby-to-be.
(been there done that,)
Mother:
You may begin to feel the baby move around this point. This is more likely to happen now if you are a multipara (someone who has had a previous child) or if you are very thin. Generally you will feel the baby move about one month earlier than you did in a previous pregnancy, mainly because you know what you are feeling. It is not uncommon for first time mothers to not recognize fetal movements until 22-24 weeks. These first movements are called "quickening." They can also be used in helping to determine your due date.
Baby:
Your baby's nails are well formed, and some babies are even in need of having their nails trimmed at birth. The ears have also moved from the neck to the head.
Your baby is emptying his or her bladder every 40-45 minutes. The limb movements are becoming more coordinated. Your baby is about 3 ounces (85 grams) and 6.3 inches (16 cms). Using an ultrasound you might be able to tell if your baby is a girl or boy at this point, but it's still a bit early.
Dad:
Have you been to a prenatal appointment recently? It might be nice to try to go again, it's been about a month since you've first heard the baby's heart beat. Think of it as a nice chance to sneak away for lunch together and to celebrate your baby-to-be.
(been there done that,)
Week 15 - perpetual moaning
Cracked up this week, told her to stop her perpetual moaning. She is doing my nut in, why cant she just be happy. lifes what you make it and all that. i tell her this in pretty blunt terms, she cries. Nothing else to report this week.
Heres what the pregnancy dairy says, feeling a bit guilty today:
Mother:
Your heart is increasing its output to supply the baby with oxygen. Your enlarged heart is pumping about 20% more blood than prepregnancy. This volume will actually increase throughout your pregnancy for an ending increased heart output of 30-50%. If your clothes are getting tight, do not try to cram yourself into clothes try maternity clothes. The maternal blood screening for neural tube defects, often called the Alpha-fetoprotein Test (AFP) (Quad or Triple Screen) may be offered at this point. It is a screening that is most accurate during the 15 - 17th weeks of gestation.
Baby:
Your baby may have developed the habit of sucking his or her thumb! The skin is very thin and you can see the blood vessels clearly underneath.
Your baby is about 70 grams. The scalp hair pattern is developing. And the heart is pumping about 25 quarts of blood a day. This will increase to about 300 at term.
Dad:
If mom is raiding your closet for clothes, you are not alone. However, there are products out there that you can try to help her extend the life of her prepregnancy clothes that don't involved pins, rubber bands or stealing your clothes!
(no, she is bigger than I am, my clothes dont fit her, we have to go shopping for her first maternity outfits)
Heres what the pregnancy dairy says, feeling a bit guilty today:
Mother:
Your heart is increasing its output to supply the baby with oxygen. Your enlarged heart is pumping about 20% more blood than prepregnancy. This volume will actually increase throughout your pregnancy for an ending increased heart output of 30-50%. If your clothes are getting tight, do not try to cram yourself into clothes try maternity clothes. The maternal blood screening for neural tube defects, often called the Alpha-fetoprotein Test (AFP) (Quad or Triple Screen) may be offered at this point. It is a screening that is most accurate during the 15 - 17th weeks of gestation.
Baby:
Your baby may have developed the habit of sucking his or her thumb! The skin is very thin and you can see the blood vessels clearly underneath.
Your baby is about 70 grams. The scalp hair pattern is developing. And the heart is pumping about 25 quarts of blood a day. This will increase to about 300 at term.
Dad:
If mom is raiding your closet for clothes, you are not alone. However, there are products out there that you can try to help her extend the life of her prepregnancy clothes that don't involved pins, rubber bands or stealing your clothes!
(no, she is bigger than I am, my clothes dont fit her, we have to go shopping for her first maternity outfits)
week 14 update
Nothign much to report this week, the mood swings continue, here whats the pregnancy diary has to say about week 14.
Mother:
The hormonal changes in your body are becoming apparent. Many are in the form of skin changes. These changes can alter how you use make up in pregnancy. You may have also developed a dark line down the middle of your abdomen to your pubic bone called a linea negra. The areola (dark nipple portion of your breasts) may have darkened and gotten larger as well. Your uterus is now the size of a grapefruit.
Baby:
The baby is now about 12.5 cms or 4.92 inches. Your baby is now producing urine and actually urinating into the amniotic fluid. It also can practice "breathing" the amniotic fluid in and out of its lungs.
Amniotic fluid is an amazing substance. It completely regenerates itself every three hours. We do know that it is partially composed of urine from the baby, but where amniotic fluid in general is made we are not sure. Modern medicine still has some surprises left.
Dad:
As mom is feeling better, you may feel like she's back to her old self again (my arse). Many parents slip into a lull during the first weeks of the second trimester. Her belly isn't yet really showing a lot, so it may still be mostly your secret in public.(nope belly is there and it huge)
Mother:
The hormonal changes in your body are becoming apparent. Many are in the form of skin changes. These changes can alter how you use make up in pregnancy. You may have also developed a dark line down the middle of your abdomen to your pubic bone called a linea negra. The areola (dark nipple portion of your breasts) may have darkened and gotten larger as well. Your uterus is now the size of a grapefruit.
Baby:
The baby is now about 12.5 cms or 4.92 inches. Your baby is now producing urine and actually urinating into the amniotic fluid. It also can practice "breathing" the amniotic fluid in and out of its lungs.
Amniotic fluid is an amazing substance. It completely regenerates itself every three hours. We do know that it is partially composed of urine from the baby, but where amniotic fluid in general is made we are not sure. Modern medicine still has some surprises left.
Dad:
As mom is feeling better, you may feel like she's back to her old self again (my arse). Many parents slip into a lull during the first weeks of the second trimester. Her belly isn't yet really showing a lot, so it may still be mostly your secret in public.(nope belly is there and it huge)
Mood swings and Tears
Although she was never one for mood swings and tears, she is terrible for pregnant hormone moode swings.
My friend L, is the very same, its like an emotional rollercoaster talking to either of them jsut now.
You have to tread softly gentleman, becuase the least little comment that can be remotely mis constituted can bring on an enslaught of the baby bubbles.
its a tight rope spud, its a tight rope.
My friend L, is the very same, its like an emotional rollercoaster talking to either of them jsut now.
You have to tread softly gentleman, becuase the least little comment that can be remotely mis constituted can bring on an enslaught of the baby bubbles.
its a tight rope spud, its a tight rope.
Thank god its not twins
Thank god its not twins.
Connie had been like a size of a house up until the scan day and I was constantly teasing her that it was twins.
Apparently, when its not your first baby the bump can get bigger quickly as the body is already prepared for what is going to happen.
Very pleased there was only one baby on the scan, as Im not sure where we could put twins, or how we could afford them.
Lets hope on birth date, that one little bugger wasnt just playing hide and seek behind the other.
Connie had been like a size of a house up until the scan day and I was constantly teasing her that it was twins.
Apparently, when its not your first baby the bump can get bigger quickly as the body is already prepared for what is going to happen.
Very pleased there was only one baby on the scan, as Im not sure where we could put twins, or how we could afford them.
Lets hope on birth date, that one little bugger wasnt just playing hide and seek behind the other.
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