Connie phone me at work today and was going all radio rental
she says that her stomach had gone all hard and she could feel a distinctly round shape pushing out like a little bum or a head.
Hello little bum, said daddy....... Expecting a warm welcome when I get home.
No such luck for me when I got home, by the time I got home the pregnant elf had stolen all the feel good hormones and was giving it pissed off face as the grass wasnt cut, the courier hadnt arrived to take the wii fit away that I had sold on ebay and some other random reasons that she was pissed off as I clearly should have used my crystal ball and phoned the courier when they didnt turn up, even although she didnt tell me this until after the courier office was shut. And, considering she was on a weeks holiday but I had been at work all day it was clearly my fault.
Pregnant hormone, or bad wife syndrome, not really sure. We will go with pregnant hormone.
Suppose its too much to ask for a kiss and a cuddle.
I get a sorry later while im cutting the grass in the twilight evening and a peck on the lips. I also succesfully get a cup of tea, two in fact, one grudged and one offered.
Its 9.30 and im knackered already, i think im coming out in sympathy pains too.
She rubs my back while I earn some pennies on the computer writing reviews, this is welcomed and is about as close to physical contact that I have managed today.
The brown bucket used for the green waste is so jammed packed with grass that I couldnt shift it to beside the green bucket thats used for the bad waste that isnt recycled. Go figure.
Seen L today and she is complaining of fat swollen ankles, she calls them kankles which I find absolutely hilarious. Connie doesnt find this funny in the slighest, the pregnant elf made the tooth fairy steal the funny bone. Hoping the booby fairy will replace it in due course along with the new breasts that I have ordered.
L says she is having a fat day, someone told her she was looking very pregnant, which doesnt help her mood either. Uncle andy tries to smooth it over, but doenst really manage.
So between Kankle Woman and Funny Bone Hormone Wench im on a loosing streak today.
Had to go to the doctors and the menopausal old bag behind the counter complains i am 3 minutes late. Wonder if the police will be late when I take a shit through the sun roof of her car.
Eldest Teenage daughter rambling about deviant sex today also, she seems to think her gay but in the closet and denial friend craig (lovely boy, claims he is straight, when actual fact is clearly camper than christmas and is in sever need of a good rogering, even my non existant gaydar can tell this) may have attempted to have had it off with a water melon and also some undetermined object that he tried to heat up in the microwave, her friend tasha may have been anally fisted by her far too old for her boyfriend and did Connie and I ever experiment with bondage and water sports. Followed closely by the admission that she had found HER tub of tingle play gel in OUR drawers, did not improve my mood.
Middle teenage daughter is in a strop, I ask her originally for the first cup of tea (see above) was ingnored once and then was followed by, "what do you mean all the way over there to the kettle dad" response
Youngest daugher has nits today. Oh joy, so it will be head checks all round
I think i need my head checked too, if you catch my meaning. Im surrounded by hormones, lots and lots of little hormones. Hoping for a boy, please please make it a boy, just so he can share in my suffering.
I play wii sega bass fishing for 12 minutes to relax. Alloted time I am allowed before being subjected to the pish that is soaps.
Calling all gentleman out their in similar boat, this is why we drink gamble, swear and are unfaithfull cavemen bastards that like motorosport, contact games and playing with ourselves.
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